2002-12-29
"friday night"
i need to make an outline of friday's events, just so they'll make sense to me...blur blur blur
daytime, at work: the mother attempts to push me over the edge via telephone...(try harder mommy! you can do it!)...she calls me again to see if i need a ride home...with as few words as possible i let her know i won't be coming home because she is there...i go with stormi to her apartment, (which by the way is totally awesome...it's this big old house that has been converted into 4 apartments)
we get stoned...i get the brilliant idea that if stormi comes home with me then the mother will have to be nice...because the mother is very fake in social settings
so we went to my house, and nobody was there...but i knew they would eventually return...this is when we got on the computer, because she doesn't have one at home...and we were laughing together as stoned people do while reading "ballad of a non-smoker"...lightfallsup...and it was the season of giving and then the car pulled up in the driveway
kris came in really fast to warn us the mother was coming in so we could stop doing whatever it was we might be doing that would offend/shock her...i must have painted a really scarey picture of the mother because stormi practically knocked kris over trying to get into his room to hide...the mother saw this...(i can't help but laugh)
i was mellow as all fuck...teflon...did the introduction thing...the mother then did a very good impersonation of my impersonation of her...to quote stormi, "she's so fake!"...i don't lie
kris and stormi then hid in his room while the mother cornered me for a little "heart-to-heart"...she pointed in the general direction of kris' room and wagged her finger, "is this a 'thing'?"..."no, that is my friend stormi"...my half of the conversation was a monotone voice and eyes glued to the ceiling...i don't remember any of it except when she asked me with a concerned voice and strange look on her face if i would ever move away and not tell her...and that i had said exactly that to stormi at least 4 times earlier in the evening...and i let the mother know that yes, that idea was definitely in the realm of possibility
she left
fast forward...me, stormi, carl and kris in the car headed back to my house...carl driving...carl had a joint on him...we got pulled over by SuperCop..."why?"...because carl was doing maybe 10 mph over the speed limit...so for that heinous crime we were all made to "step out of the vehicle", he ran a check on each of us, searched the car, asked us so many ridiculous questions i'm surprised i managed not to laugh...when he FINALLY let us go, we all asked carl where the joint was...it was under his seat...i truly do not know how SuperCop missed it
it's kind of funny to think of the possible alternate endings to that story...thank god we were not black that night
